Category: Self Help (Page 1 of 2)

HeartMath Institute Science – Scientific Foundation of the HeartMath System

HeartMath learning programs and the emWave® and Inner Balance™ self-regulation technology are based on over 29 years of scientific research on the psychophysiology of stress, resilience, and the interactions between the heart and brain.

Most of us have been taught in school that the heart is constantly responding to “orders” sent by the brain in the form of neural signals. However, it is not as commonly known that the heart actually sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart! Moreover, these heart signals have a significant effect on brain function—influencing emotional processing as well as higher cognitive faculties such as attention, perception, memory, and problem-solving. In other words, not only does the heart respond to the brain, but the brain continuously responds to the heart.

HeartMath Institute Research Director discusses why heart coherence is essential in stress management and sustainable behavior change.

The effect of heart activity on brain function has been researched extensively over about the past 40 years. Earlier research mainly examined the effects of heart activity occurring on a very short time scale—over several consecutive heartbeats at maximum. Scientists at the HeartMath Institute have extended this body of scientific research by looking at how larger-scale patterns of heart activity affect the brain’s functioning.

HeartMath research has demonstrated that different patterns of heart activity (which accompany different emotional states) have distinct effects on cognitive and emotional function. During stress and negative emotions, when the heart rhythm pattern is erratic and disordered, the corresponding pattern of neural signals traveling from the heart to the brain inhibits higher cognitive functions. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. (This helps explain why we may often act impulsively and unwisely when we’re under stress.) The heart’s input to the brain during stressful or negative emotions also has a profound effect on the brain’s emotional processes—actually serving to reinforce the emotional experience of stress.

In contrast, the more ordered and stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain during positive emotional states has the opposite effect—it facilitates cognitive function and reinforces positive feelings and emotional stability. This means that learning to generate increased heart rhythm coherence, by sustaining positive emotions, not only benefits the entire body, but also profoundly affects how we perceive, think, feel, and perform.

If you are wondering why it is taking so long to get that dream job or that deeply satisfying relationship, I can tell you that thinking about its absence is keeping it away.

So if you think about it, if you are wanting a deeply satisfying relationship, but keep noticing the absence of it, or if you keep noticing the annoying and deeply unsatisfying things your current partner is doing, you are only keeping what you want away.

In order to get what you want you must be able to receive it. What does that mean? Well it means that you have to be in the space to receive the thing you want, you have to have the ears to hear it and the eyes to see it. It you are, for the majority of time, seeing what is wrong in your current partner, or you are noticing the absence of any partner, than you do not have the eyes to see it, and you will miss it when it comes.

What does this mean for you? This means that you have to be in the emotional vicinity or the vibrational frequency to attract it, see it, and allow it into your experience. So when you are complaining about your lazy partner, you are in a totally different zip code from the true love that you want to experience.

This means that you have to notice less the things that are unwanted, and notice more the things that are wanted. So for example, when you see a happy couple walking through the park or in a restaurant and they seem to be really happy, feel the joy for them, feel the joy you would feel if this were you, when you do this…it translates to sending THIS vibrational frequency out, which means, you receiving it!

When you are happy for others, this sends a very powerful message to the Universe! The message being sent to the Universe is…..this is me, and I would love more of this!

What you place your attention on for an extended period of time, becomes your experience.

Look away from the things in your life that you do not want to experience anymore, and by law (universal law), it will have to leave your experience. The withdrawal of your energy (attention) from that object/relationship/situation will stop the feeding of it that your attention has been giving it. When  you keep your mind, thoughts and feelings on what you want to experiences, by law, it will have to come.

The hardest part is maintaining your  vibration when what you want  hasn’t shown up yet. Think of it like this, the waiting provides you with more time to see in more clear detail what you want and what you don’t want. This is more clarifying time. The more you see what you do not want, this tells you what you DO want.

Just remember, your attention is a strong power, and it feeds whatever it is focused on. So feed the things that you really want with your powerful attention and focus , and the things that you want to leave your experience, don’t pay it mind.

Why is it so hard to be happy? Why is life so difficult? Why do we suffer so much? And what can we do about it?

ACT-Acceptance Commitment Therapy is all about taking action, but its more than any action. Its about values-guided action.  When you become clear on what really matters to you and what you want your life to stand for, you create a path or a direction into your behaviors. You become values driven instead of reactive. You start to use these values to motivate, inspire and guide your actions and behaviors.

ACT is all about mindfulness, being fully aware of the present moment with an openness and acceptance without the need to control or change it. You accept what is here now. This creates a psychological flexibility which is the ability to be in the present moment with full awareness and openness to your experience and to take action guided by your values.

The goal of ACT is to live a rich and meaningful life while accepting the pain that goes along with it.

Most people get so fused or caught up in their thought that it is difficult for them to actually engage in their life in a meaningful way. Or they may try to avoid and push away those negative thoughts such as, “I am not good enough”, or “Why does this always happen to me?”, but this just makes it worse, as it becomes physically exhausting and draining to continually push away or resist these negative thoughts.

For example, try this, take your hands and put them side by side like a book. Now take your hands and place them up in front of your face, so close that they are touching your nose. Now imagine that your hands are a symbol for your unwanted thoughts.  When you are caught up in your thoughts, fused with them, this is what it is like. How much can you see around your hands? How much can you engage with the world around you? Are you free to drive a car, cook a meal, hug your child? No, you are not because you are blinded by your hands….your thoughts. This is what it is like to be caught up with your unwanted thoughts, they are all you can see. How can you create a meaningful life with this going on? The answer is, you can’t. Now slowly lower your hands onto your lap. What is it like now? How much can you see and interact with the world around you now? Much better! You can now see the world around you, you can engage in your life. And did you notice that your hands (thoughts) are still there, they are on your lap? They are there, but they are not interfering with your life. You have learned to let them be there, with acceptance. When you give up the struggle of pushing them away, and you also stop getting caught up with them, you can live a meaningful life, all the while letting them be.

When you let thoughts be, and are committed to taking values guided actions, you will be able to live your life with more balance and ease. The pain of these thoughts will still come and go, but you have given up the struggle, which has a dramatically positive impact on your well being and your life overall.

Avoiding or pushing away thoughts is another way that some people cope with their unwanted thoughts, but it too has a cost.  Some people will use drugs, food, shopping, sex to push away thoughts, but this comes at a high cost of not living consistently with your values, and the thoughts are still there.

You may even avoid situations that provoke your  anxious thoughts, what is the cost here?  Sure, you may feel better in the short term, the anxiety provoking thoughts stopped, but at the cost of missing out with friends, or loved ones, which over time can lead to isolation and depression.

So what can you do about this?

We have 2 distinct elements to our mind,  the thinking self, and the observing self. The thinking self is the part of is that is always thinking, generating thoughts, beliefs, memories, judgments, and so on. But most are not familiar with the observing self. The aspect of us that is aware of what we are thinking and feeling. Another term for this is “pure awareness”.

For example, as you go through life, your body changes, your feelings change, your thoughts change, your roles and responsibilities change, but the YOU that is there observing all those things never change. It is the same YOU that has been there your entire life.

When you start to notice your thoughts and feelings from this observing self, you create an openness, a space that puts some distance between you and your thoughts. You allow them to be there, without getting caught up or fused with them.

Looking at your life’s experiences from this context is freeing and liberating and allow you to create a richer, fuller and more meaningful life.

ACT on life, not your fears or worries.

Gratitude works like magic, the more you use it, the more magic you will experience. If for one day you spent being fully aware of all that you are blessed and fortunate to have, your will be filled with an astounding sense of gratitude and awe.

In our culture, we have been so conditioned to want more, to make more money, to own more things, that we have completely forgotten all that we have. This forgetting is one of the root causes of our lack of joy and feelings of contentment. How can you be content with what you have if you aren’t even aware that you have it, and are primarily focused on what you do not have…you cannot. You cannot have inner peace and joy when focused on lack and what is missing in your life.

Todays challenge is to start this day, and everyday for the rest of this month with making a list of 10 things you are grateful for and why you are grateful for those things. You should give it some thought and see what you are truly grateful for; your bed, because without it you would be sleeping on the floor. How about the running water and electricity you have that provided you with clean water and air conditioning or electricity to cook your food.

After you write your list go back and read each one out loud and say “Thank you, thank you, thank you” for each one. By the time you finish this exercise, you will feel so good, so fortunate, and this is what most if not everyone wants.

If you are struggling with low moods, depression, fear, anxiety, lack of confidence and feelings of dread, than it may be time to start thinking  differently. Most people live their lives observing what is in their environment, leading them to thinking thoughts about what they are observing, and than feeling feelings that reflect those thoughts. How do you expect to feel good when observing what is? You can’t! If you continue to observe your low back account, lack of meaning or joy at work, the annoying and negative coworker, the bad news on television, your unmotivated spouse or boyfriend than how do you expect to feel good? It is impossible!

Whether you know it or not every single thing that you say to yourself is an affirmation! When you say things like, “I am not good enough”, or “Life is so hard”, or what ever it is you are saying to yourself, you are affirming it and reaffirming it…..meaning you are keeping it that way. You are actually locking it in place with your own words. If you can say these life draining affirmation than you can just as easily say life affirming and supporting  affirmations. The only difference is that you will be saying what has not physically manifested yet. The more you say it, and get it into your belief system, the quicker you will see it.

The trick is not let yourself get pulled into what you are observing. You want to FOCUS ON POTENTIAL, which is UNLIMITTED!

The first thing that you will notice when using positive affirmations is YOU WILL FEEL GOOD. Most people want to feel good anyway, so let this simple fact motivate you to do this. The key is to feel good anyway, because having those things that you want, ( the successful business, plenty of money, the ability to help others with your wealth)  make you feel good. It feels good to have plenty of money in the bank, it feels good to have meaningful and inspiring work, it feels good to have a loving and confident partner. So why wait until those things happen, start feeling good now and see what happens.

If you really think about it, you have nothing to lose by using positive affirmations, actually yes you do, what you will lose is your bad mood, your lack of confidence, lack of motivation, your anxiety, your lack mindset, and very possibly your bad health. And what you will gain is positive feelings, inspiration, creativity, inner peace, confidence,  balance, ease and joy.

So start today with affirming your GREATNESS! Start today affirming the ease of life. Don’t wait for good things to happen before you can experience inner peace and joy. It is up to YOU! You create your experience!

You can start by noticing how you are feeling and if it is not joyful or at least content, turn it upside down and affirm the opposite. If you are feeling lack of motivation, say ” I am inspired.” If you are feeling depressed, say ” I am happy”, or “I am content” If you are feeling anxious and fearful, say ” I am at calm and relaxed.”

You will always feel how you think, so start taking control of your life now, and think in terms of how you want to feel.

Here are a few examples:

I am surrounded by Love

Life is always guiding and supporting me

I am blessed

I am grateful and at ease

Every experience I have is perfect for my growth

I flow easily with new experiences

There is plenty for me and everyone else.

I learn from every experience

As I change my thoughts my experiences change with it.

I am good enough just as I am

I am enjoying the new life I am creating

When you find yourself feeling scared, anxious, depressed, frustrated or any of the negative emotions we all feel at times there is 1 thing that I highly recommend doing. It is a simple but powerful and effective technique that can be done anywhere at anytime.

Most of the time we are operating from our minds, our brains the left/right thinking organ that sees either/or, black/white, good/bad, he/she, me/you, woman/man, democrat/republican, and is very logical and rationale so it does not see the whole picture of how things REALLY are. It doesn’t see the whole of things.

Since it is left/right brain operated, its main functions are already separated and divided, so how could you get the whole picture of how things really are. If we are always being guided by this limited way of perceiving the world, we are very limited in the information we can access and are mostly living off and in fear, separation, judgment and lack.  Wonder why there is so much depression, anxiety, judgment and hatred in the world…..?……

This type of ongoing thinking and perceiving of reality creates a life of anxiety, fear, division, lack mindedness, and overall dread and depression.

Where is the JOY? Where is the LOVE?

When we shift our focus from perceiving from the mind to perceiving from the heart, many different and wonderful things happen…. we shift from fear to love….we shift from judgment to understanding…..we shift from confusion to clarity….we shift from anxiety to calm …. we shift from competition to compassion…

WE shift to LOVE.  We have came home to our hearts….we came home to ourselves….we came home to LOVE…our  natural state.

So this is how to do this….

Place your attention/focus on your heart center, that place in the center of your chest. When you place your hand there it may be easier to focus in that area.

Take slow deep breaths through your nose but imagine that your are breathing through that heart space.

Do this for a few minutes.

I recommend starting your day like this and doing it several times through out the day…this will keep you balanced and calm and since it is the place of your own personal wisdom, you will have access to information that you would not have otherwise when you stay mind/brain focused/aware.

This can be something you do everyday to rebalance yourself.

If you have a tough decision to make or you are having questions or doubts about something, you could ask yourself a question while doing the exercise, and before you even finish the question, you may have your answer. The heart does not have the same fears, anxiety’s and judgments that your brain does and will answer in truth and for your highest and best.

Trust your heart! It is your own personal wisdom right beneath your nose.

Did you ever wonder how your thoughts and feelings affect your life? Have you ever pondered how the way you view things has an affect on the outcome? These are wonderful things to think about. Since we are the ones who are thinking about our lives, it only makes sense that how we view things directly impacts the outcome. Just think back to your childhood or even the recent past and some of the thoughts you had about a certain thing,  now think about how that impacted the outcome. Did your thoughts help or hurt you? Well, if your thoughts were negative, and fear based, you most likely did not have a positive outcome. If your thoughts were supportive and positive in nature, I bet the outcome was more on the positive side, if not outright awesome.

What this is telling us is that WE are the ones that determine the outcome of our experience. Its our thoughts and feelings about it that impact the outcome, not other people or circumstances that determine it. It is us. It has always been US! WE are the creators or our experiences.

Think about a day when you woke up and maybe were not feeling so great, so you decided to shift your thoughts and affirm the positive. Did you notice that you started to feel better, but not only that, did you notice that the quality of your thoughts improved? That is because since thoughts like other things in life are attractive, meaning like attracts like, your positive thoughts attracted other like thoughts.

The bottom line is you can create a day that is enjoyable by choosing your thoughts deliberately. So when you wake up affirm” This is a great day. I am energized. I am calm and at ease.” “I am blessed.” Since we feel the way we think, you will be the cause of your own good feeling, rather than feeling good because of what happened, or because of what someone said to you, or for any other reason other than your own doing and being.

You are the placebo! You did it yourself….and when the day gets really good, and you are feeling on top of the world, you can say “I did that!” The same goes for bad days, you can say “I did that “, and than chose your thoughts more carefully and intentionally from that point forward.

When we meditate what we are doing is we are stopping thought, at least it is slowed down and not focused on deliberately. You may say I cant meditate because I cant stop my thoughts from coming, and that is understandable, but what you are doing is, you are not deliberately thinking thoughts, which is what happens when not in meditation. We may think about this and think about that, and that is why meditation is so important, it is giving yourself some space to let go of thinking and focus your attention on something other than thought.

So when we meditate, we are getting out of our own way and we are letting ourselves tune to a higher frequency or energy. We are literally calibrating ourselves, our energy or vibration, our self to the frequency of our Source. This is why is feels so good. Some may say that it does not feel good, it feels like work, it is uncomfortable and that is because we have become so used to and conditioned to thinking thoughts, and mostly resistant thoughts. Resistant thoughts are the opposite of your Source, and this is why it may seem difficult.

So if you make this is daily practice where you wake up 15-20 minutes earlier each day and set aside 15-20 minutes to tune yourself, to calibrate to a higher frequency, you will be giving yourself a good head start to your day. If you make this a priority, making yourself a priority, the benefits will be undeniable.

It may seem like an additional task on your to do list, but this one thing will make a significant difference in your life that is invaluable.

Meditation is focused attention on one singular thing. You could meditate on a word, such as “peace”, your breath, a sound. Either way, you are focusing your attention on one thing. I like to meditate on my breath as it brings an inner calm and peace within. Some people have found it helpful to meditate on the sound of the air conditioner or heater or a fan, a drip of from the faucet. Whatever it is for you, keep your attention on it and when you find your mind has wondered, and it will, notice that it has wondered, and bring your attention back to the object of meditation. Continue doing this for 15-20 minutes as it will get easier with practice.

Be easy about it, its supposed to be a gentle practice, not forced or strained, that will defeat the purpose.

Just start where you are and feel appreciation for your efforts.

Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling really good that things just seem to fall in place, things seem to work out easily sometimes with little effort?

Have you noticed that when your feeling crappy, or down or depressed or frustrated or agitated, that things just seem to get worse, things don’t work out well or with ease? Did you ever wonder why this was happening, why sometimes everything is great and other times they are awful?

Are you wondering what is going on and how to get life to work better for you all the time or at least more of the time?

Well the common denominator here is YOU! But more specifically, your point of focus or attention.

When you are focusing on something that is negative, and you are having negative thoughts about it, it is causing you to feel negative feelings such as sadness, anger, frustration, agitation, impatience, jealousy, shame, doubt, unworthiness, etc….. These feelings take you out of alignment with who you really are. The feelings are an indication or guidance to you that what you are thinking about your inner being, or source within does not have those same feelings, or agree with,  and is guiding you away from those thoughts….back into a state of alignment.

Just try it for a minute, focus on something or someone that makes you upset or angry and see how you feel. Now focus on something or someone you love or something that you are proud of, or look at a tree, the blue sky, beautiful flowers and see how you feel. You will notice positive feelings….this is telling you that your Source within agrees with you and so you are in full alignment. You and you are in alignment…this is your natural state!

We have an emotional guidance system that is with us and available to us all the time, when we are talking with friends, co workers, alone, all the time, and the way we are guided is through our feelings.

So not only are you being guided to reach for better feeling thoughts so that you will be in alignment with who you really are,  but so that you are in a state of allowance.

Allowance is when you are relaxed, at ease, content and open to allow all the things you want to flow into your experience.

The opposite is also true, when you are out of alignment, that is, when you are angry, or upset or judgmental, you are in a state of resistance. Resistance is when you are closed off, contracted, and not allowing good things to flow to you. Your state of resistance will not allow your positive feelings to flow through you at first, but is also will not allow all the good you want to flow to you. Good things like the job you want, the successful business, the friends, lovers, money, success, good health, etc….

The key is to stay aware of how you are feeling and always reach for feeling better, and we do this by reaching for better feeling thoughts.

When you do this, you will feel better, more at ease, and satisfied, which is something we all want to feel, but you will also allow the things you want to flow to you with ease. The key here is to be relaxed, at ease and feeling good.

If you say, “Well I can’t be at ease or joyful, my boss is a real jerk, or my co workers are rude and careless, or my partner is lazy and unmotivated.” True you cannot change these other people, but you can change how you think about them, which will change how you feel, which will change your experience.

Give it a try….when driving to work tomorrow, listen to uplifting and fun music or a podcast. When at work think thoughts that make you feel good, instead of how rotten your boss or co workers are. When at home, think about the positive aspects of your partner or the positive aspects of your home.

Shifting your point of focus to things that make you feel good and having those positive feelings will be the first things you that allow into your experience, but when you keep this up, it will not be long before other physical manifestations will appear.

You create your experience, make it feel good!